I had a rather intense awakening to how different the east and west coast are culturally this week.
It seems that on the east coast when people make introductions to other people they have more of a sense of 'ownership' of the connection being made. I learned this from talking to a wise old friend sharing with him how a relationship that I had been having some break down in communication and a lot of hurt feelings. There is a cultural norm of including the introducee in the ongoing conversation between the two introduced for a long time. This period ends when the introducee sort of 'turns the relationship over' by almost formally bowing out - saying ' you two don't need me any more.'
I had no idea about this cultural norrm. As someone who makes introductions all the time I really like to make them and let go as soon as the first hellos have been made. I don't have time to manage the number of introductions that I make. I like to know how they worked out and if they are ongoing small updates are nice. But I am not really attached.
So with the above incident was the case and really have hurt some ones feelings a lot. I am not sure how to fix it or how to explain how we do things so differently here on the west coast. It was a big learning and I will work to be more culturally sensitive to east coast norms..
Related posts:
Unconference.net
